Black Leather Required

BLACK LEATHER REQUIRED (BLR)

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A JOKE

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell-ringer was needed. The bishop decided he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After watching several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day when a stocky, armless man announced that he was there to apply for the bell-ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous: "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man. "Observe!" He then ran at the bells and struck them with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillion. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo.

Suddenly, while rushing forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop hurried to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen man, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As the bishop arrived, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"

"I don't know his name," said the bishop. "But his face sure rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed upon his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop resumed his interviews for the new bell-ringer of Notre Dame.

The first candidate to approach said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The bishop agreed to an audition, but as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, and fell dead of a heart attack on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop's cry of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened?" the first monk asked, breathlessly. "Who is this man?"

"I never found out his name," said the distraught bishop. "But he's a dead ringer for his brother."